Thought I’d share this for no reason.
Question: “You’re really great with kids, when are you gonna start having some of your own?”
Answer: “…When I find a girl I wanna impregnate on purpose.”
My favorite way to carb load.
"Bae?… (-_-) Please don’t use that acronym when addressing me. Thank you."
You’ve given me something to revere and as I whisper in your ear, we’re here in the same atmosphere, my dear.
Iceman freezes up when he meets a really hott girl because he doesn’t know how to break the ice.
So I Googled “best Pina Colada picture”…. It’s safe to assume I was not disappointed.
Is it just me or is finding a random $20 bucks or more the equivalent to getting a blowie without asking?
I be all like, “Not sure what it is I did to deserve this, but hell yes.”
"Then she said, ‘Tomorrow is your leg day right?’ And the next thing I knew we were in a relationship. "